When Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in the UK?

Initial Discussion

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Does the Child Have a Say in a Child Arrangement Order Application?

A child arrangements order says which parent a child will live with and what contact they will have with the other parent (midweek, weekend, overnight, and holiday contact). Ideally, parents and children work out the parenting arrangements together or, if they cannot do so, with the help of a specialist family law solicitor or family mediator. If a childcare agreement cannot be reached, either parent can apply to the court for a child arrangements order and the judge will then decide on the living and contact arrangements for the child.

A judge makes a child arrangement order one of the factors the judge has to consider is the wishes and feelings of the child, considered in light of the child’s age and understanding.

At What Age Can a Child Decide Where They Want to Live?

Whilst a child has a voice in an application for a child arrangements order, the child’s wishes and feelings are only one factor in a range of statutory considerations, referred to as the ‘welfare checklist’.

When deciding on living and contact arrangements, the judge must make a decision based on what is in the best interests of the child and the child’s wishes form part of that decision-making process.

There is no ‘golden age’ where a child can decide which parent to live with, although, with an older child, the judge will need to weigh up if a child will ‘vote with their feet’ if their wishes are not reflected in the child arrangements order.

There is no specific age where a child’s views suddenly become paramount. That’s because you can find children with mature views and equally those who may be thinking of the short-term benefits of choosing to live with a parent who is less strict in their eyes. However, the older a child is, the more weight the court is likely to give to their wishes and feelings.

How Does the Court Listen to a Child in a Child Arrangement Order Application?

The court is often presented with one parent saying that their child wants to live with them and the other parent saying the child is desperate to stay with them. That may be true as the child may be individually telling both parents what the child knows both parents want to hear.

The usual means of independently ascertaining a child’s wishes and feelings are for the court to order a report from the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS).

CAFCASS is an independent organisation. Its specially trained officers are tasked with meeting with parents and children and preparing reports for the court in child arrangements, specific issues, and prohibited steps order applications.

A CAFCASS officer will not just meet older children involved in proceedings relating to a child arrangements order. They will also meet younger children and gauge the child’s wishes from observation of interaction with parents and speaking to the child’s nursery or school.

Some parents think that a younger child can be coached to say that they do not like a parent and do not want to see them, but CAFCASS officers are adept at drawing children out or observing the clues of a loving relationship between parent and child in an observed contact session. Coaching a child on ‘their wishes’ is never a good idea.

Talk to a Family Law Solicitor

If you are worried about the living and contact arrangements for your child after parental separation or divorce and need help in understanding the process of an application for a child arrangements order, then the solicitors at Fullers Family Law can help.